Sometimes, live throws stuff at you that you really don’t feel ready to handle. It can be a change in work circumstances, health or something more personal and we fall to pieces.
When something drastic happens, most of us go in fight or flight mode and start reacting by trying to find solutions, trying to make sense of what happened.
And yet, it is at these same tumultuous times of change that we need to pause and take stock of how it makes us feel. Are you sad, angry, feeling empty, strangely calm… ? It all depends on our personality and how we normally react to change. It is important to make space for our feelings to come to the surface as our feelings are there. Nobody can go through a radical change in their live and not feel anything. But a lot of us won’t find a way to express it, and the feelings will stay in your body and will resurface later on, in a way that can be even harder to deal with as they would have had time to grow inside you.
Children are a wonderful example on how to express our feelings. Something unpleasant happens to them and they cry, throw a tantrum, mope for ages. Everybody knows about it! And then, after a little while, the sadness/anger… has been expressed and they perk up, as if nothing had happened in the first place. Talk about living in the moment!
Most adults can’t leave things behind as children so naturally do, but we can all make space for our feelings to be expressed. Even if it is in the privacy of our bedroom, car, bathroom…
I remember when I was – much – younger, having a good cry over some thing or other and feeling so much better afterwards. I remember feeling tired – as most of the adrenalin had left my body – but so much better.
Then again, feelings don’t always get expressed through tears. They can equally be expressed by going for a run, exercising, cooking, walking… Anything that works for you and gives you a way of processing what is happening and how you feel about it.
Whatever made you feel that way in the first place will still be there when you come back, but you will be in a calmer, more centred state of mind to deal with it.