I just can’t relax…
So many of my clients say that to me.
And I can relate!
I never used to be able to just switch off and relax.
When I first started going to yoga, I considered the relaxation a complete waste of time!
I know, right!
Crazy!
When I look back, I can completely understand where my clients come from. Not being able to relax is actually not being able to allow yourself to relax.
So, are you a “I can’t relax” type?
You think that you need to be busy to be a “good” person
The cult of “busyness”… When I was working in an office, being efficient and leaving work on time wasn’t valued as much as being busy and working extra hours, even if it wasn’t really needed!
To the question “How are you?” replying “Busy” was like a badge of being worthy. Of having stuff to do.
If you have stuff to do, that must mean that you are valuable. Which means that if you are not busy and taking time to chill out, well, you can’t possibly be that good or valuable…
Such a toxic way of going through life, but still such a prevalent way of seeing things in this day and age.
The solution:
You are not your job, to do lists or achievements. You are worthy no matter what you do. Every day, pencil in your diary at least 15 minutes for you to sit down or go for a walk.
Affirmation to support you: I am worthy of loving myself and taking time for me.
You feel guilty the second you sit down
You might not think that being busy is the way to go, but you might still feel guilty as soon as you stop.
That was me.
I felt the need to be constantly on the go. Mostly because sitting down actually felt uncomfortable! I would feel so guilty because there always was more stuff that I could be doing!
And there always is!
If that is you, getting organised is the way to go.
The solution:
Plan your day. In the morning, make a list of what MUST be done on that day. Organise these tasks during your day (and make you that you give yourself some extra time in case anything gets in the way). As you organise yourself, plan 15-20 minutes for yourself. You will see that you can get everything done in the day AND still take time for you.
Affirmation to support you: I deserve to relax.
You sit down but your mind doesn’t stop
The monkey mind is sometimes so uncomfortable with all its thoughts and worries that it’s no wonder you don’t want to slow down.
Your body needs to rest and your mind needs to relax though.
Nobody can keep going for days without time off.
The solution:
Mindfulness! If your mind doesn’t let you relax, the solution is to train your mind so that you can relax.
Try this exercise:
Pick a flower or a leaf from the garden. Sit comfortably with the leaf or flower in front of you. Set your timer for 5 minutes and for these 5 minutes keep your mind focused on the flower or leaf. If your mind wanders to anything else, bring it back gently to the flower/leaf. Notice the colour, the texture, maybe the smell, anything that you like as long as it is related to what is in front of you.
If you don’t have the opportunity to go out and get a flower or leaf, you can do the same by following your breath in and out for 5 minutes. Keep your mind focused on your breath. Follow the inbreaths and the outbreaths. Don’t try and change the breath. Just observe it.
Practice this exercise 2-3 times/week and you will find that little by little your mind will be quieter. You will also develop a stronger ability to bring your mind back to the present moment so that you will be able to relax after all.
Affirmation: Here and now is where my power is.
Taking the time to relax every day changed my life:
I have more energy
I am more relaxed
I am happier
I am a nicer person to be around
The shift happened when I started to take 15 minutes every day to do a relaxation.
If you want to give it a try, click on the link below to receive my FREE seated relaxation directly in your inbox. After just a few days, you will feel so much happier and have so much more energy!